Limited as an English Major…

I’ve always wanted to study Literature ever since I was very young. I just had a passion for reading and learning, and no, I haven’t read every classic novel and I don’t re-read Catcher in the Rye when I’m feeling down. But, I don’t think that sets me apart from any other English major, or Literature lover.

My interest has always been with Young Adult novels, mostly because I was able to relate it to my current life. I started getting more heavily into reading in high-school, my top picks ranged from John Green to Sarah Dessen to Ellen Hopkins. I was a YA Lit FREAK. Well… no, not freak. That’s a terrible comparison.

But anyway! I always new I enjoyed writing and reading, I just didn’t know exactly what to do with it. I have a lot of half talents, like knowing Photoshop and Final Cut Pro, but I don’t necessarily have any extensive knowledge on it, I’m still a beginner. In my Sophomore year of high-school, I joined Yearbook and that kind of set off a spark in me that wanted to work in the publication world, and experience what it felt like to create something from it’s very beginning stages all the way to the end. I wanted to do anything that involved publishing, whether it was having direct contact with the authors and agents, helping find what books we should gear towards creating, figuring out the best titles and book covers to have. I wanted to do it all. And I still do.

The closer I get to graduation, the more I realize how difficult it is to find a name for what I want to do, I’m honestly still not sure… I don’t want to be a just an editor, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind reading novels to make sure they’re good to publish. I’m hoping that an internship can help me with this.. the only thing, I live in Miami. The city of models, music, and fast cars. No room for little Stephanie to fulfill her dreams of finding herself in the publishing world. Unless… no, never mind… okay. Unless I were to move to New York. Or maybe even California, or Chicago! That’s something that’s been in the back of my mind since I started my freshman year of college. It’s something that I thought I could work around, maybe finding remote positions or something. But it’s a bit difficult when you have so many great candidates competing for the same position that ACTUALLY live in the areas where publishing strives.

I went to New York once. I still don’t know how I feel about it. I mean, it’s not that I would hate living in New York, it’d actually be pretty cool. But I feel like the thought of living in New York sounds much better on paper than it does in real life. I’m not the type of person that’s okay with spending $7 on a smoothie that’s worth barely $4, I’m not okay with having to push myself against people to get from one block to another, I’m not okay with living in a tiny studio that may or may not have a family of rats in the corner. I mean, I’m sure it’s not that bad…

As a third-year student at my university, I’m actually contemplating New York as a viable option for me to go after graduation. The only thing that worries me, is the fact that if I go pursue this dream, what happens if I fail? What happens to the relationships that I leave in order to go to the Big Apple, where my dreams may or may not come true. I don’t know, that’s one of my biggest worries. Not so much about failing, but moreso of losing relationships that I currently have in order to do what I want to do. I know that those I care about won’t follow me up there, I know that they have their own lives to live… it’s just something I’d rather not risk. But when do you get to the point where you’re okay to take that risk?

So, New York. Possible option after graduation. I mean, I could always work at a bookstore or a coffee shop in the meantime as I’m looking for publications to take me under their wing. Maybe that $15/hour minimum wage will come in handy!

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